afterallthistime: (Default)
I'm feeling strangely restless right now -- there are a dozen things I should do/want to do, but I don't know what to focus on. On the plus side, my knee feels WORLDS better today, good enough that the plan is to start back up at the gym on Sunday (not necessarily running, but there are other, lower impact cardio exercises I can do). I'd like to resume the running by September 1st, though, so I can get in the last two weeks of "official" training up, and then do some speed work and hills.

Some of the improvement to my knee may have to do with last night's burlesque class, which was almost entirely floor work. The stripping topic was stocking removals, so we did a lot of work on our backs, with our legs: stroking one leg with the other, tear drops, the bicycle, and splays. Splays were interesting in a class of ten with limited floor space, because at any given moment, it felt like a very really possibility that you were going to get smothered by someone else's thighs. The floor moves are an incredible ab workout, but also a lot of slow, repetitive leg and knee movement, which I honestly think really helped. We did a choreographed rehearsal of the last two weeks in groups of three, as well -- bumps, grinds, shimmies, glove removals, shirt and skirt removals, floor work, and stocking removals -- and I discovered that when I'm choreographed, the self-conciousness goes away all but completely. So long as I have a planned routine, I can do all the moves and do them quite well (with the exception of shoulder shimmies; hip shimmies are no problem, but I can't isolate my shoulders, I either wind up doing basically a full body shimmy or look like I'm having a seizure. There is no in-between). I'm considering planning out choreography to a song I've loved for a long time, that I already have some ideas for, and when the circumstances are right (i.e., when I have the money to spend) taking the Babydolls' advanced class, and then at some point in the future, attending the Expo's amateur competition. (The song, by the way is Fingertips, by Poe).

I've spent today doing a few things I guess I could consider productive: started work on my cosplay helmet, finally; it's still in the base stage, still sort of just a prototype. I've cut out the face and made one horn out of cardstock and paper, will probably "flesh it out" with Model Magic, but at least this way the weight will be less than making the whole thing out of clay. I also designed another sticker/shirt to go along with the one I designed last night for my new RedBubble store -- I'm jumping ship on Zazzle because RedBubble is better known in the circles I travel, and because it is overall a lot kinder to fan-made fan merchandise. I've gotten about fifty page views thus far and about a dozen Tumblr reblogs, plus the items are showing up in the searches, so I hope to make a few sales soon. The two items right now are text-only, one for Avengers and one for SuperWhoLock -- I have another SuperWhoLock design (graphic) to work on, and another exclusively Supernatural design (also graphic) and those will likely take a while, since I have NO graphic skills whatsoever.

I did a little bit of crocheting, and might do a little more, and then read a bit. I'm just never in a reading mood anymore, and that makes me sad. Once I settle in and sort of make myself start, I usually get sucked right in, but getting myself to stop whatever and actually pick up the book has become a chore. It's ridiculously sad, really.

Tomorrow, maybe the beach, maybe some chores and then taking a nice long walk to get myself back in gear in a low-impact way. A week and a half left -- I'd be lying if I said part of me isn't excited, but part of me is just dreading the same old, same old. Which is why, again -- find fullfillment elsewhere.

I'm trying, I'm trying.

ETA: Ever have moments when you just realize, definitively, that you are a massive nerd? I just downloaded a font for Cirucular Gallifreyan. BEAT THAT.
afterallthistime: (i am human)

Yeah, so yesterday I did some puttering around the house and all was fine until around 4:30 when I decided to walk to the gym, and my knee started to feel... funny. Didn't really hurt, exactly, but felt like... you know how sometimes you get, like, air bubbles of whatever in your joints, like you just need to pop them? That happens to my knee with fair frequency, and usually the only fix is to walk it off, basically. So I walk to the gym, and while at the gym, I continue with my 5k routine. I'm on Week Seven of Eight -- run 1.5 miles, walk two minutes, repeat once. I run a 10.42 minute mile, but I decided to run 17 minutes for my 1.5 miles, just because it was an easier to pick a whole number than try to remember that I was running an extra 5.21 minutes, and besides which, the next step up is "Run 2 miles, walk 2 minutes," so I figured the closer I could managed to two miles this week (even if it's only marginally), the better.

On the first run through, my knee felt basically the same as it had, and then, right before I switched to the walking portion, it started to feel better, so I figured, problem solved. On the second leg of running, about seven minutes or so before cooldown, it started feeling weird again. I finished out my run and hit cooldown, and that's when it really started hurting. I finished out my regular weight routine, minus legs weights, and walked home -- my knees actually hurting at this point, but there was no one to call to get me, so tough shit, really. It's been bothering me ever since, and stairs are a real burden today. My mum was kind enough to lend me the brace, which does help a bit, but what really pisses me off was after a week of doing fuck all NOTHING physical, I finally manage to gather my willpower to get back on track, and I manage to incur an injury doing fuck all NOTHING, seriously. I'll lay off because I basically have to, because if I push too hard now, I'm just going to further incapacitate myself and possibly even do some real longterm damage, and while I'm not exactly renowned for my great life choices, I'm not a complete fucking idiot, either. The race isn't until September so it's not like I don't have plenty of recovery time AND training time still left, but this feels like a huge pain in the ass.

It's not even that I've been suffering huge set backs in terms of objective "evidence;" my weight has been holding fairly steady at around 141, which is the lowest I've been since, um, 7th grade? (The summer after 8th grade, when I had my physical before entering high school, my records say I was 148 lbs.). I have better stamina (shit, running 1.5 miles without stopping? Three years ago, carrying the groceries upstairs was reason enough for a time out while I got my breath back and recovered. When I started going to the gym, two minutes on the elliptical made me dizzy and prompted a ten to fifteen minute recovery period). I look at myself in the mirror in the morning, naked, and in generally, I'm fairly pleased with what I see (minus the saggy skin and the stretch marks, but I have a few specialized lotions that are supposed to help with those particular maladies -- and really, because the weight loss was so gradual, the saggy skin thing isn't AWFUL, but it's not great, either. And I'm almost resigned to the stretch marks; I've had them for basically my entire life, but if the lotion can help, even better). I'm happier with my appearance now than I ever have been. I'm proud of the headway I've made, I'm proud of the fact that I've stuck with this as long as I have, because for years (and years and years) I would embark on this journey and then throw up my hands and scream "FUCK THIS" every time an obstacle cropped up in my path. So why am I still so obsessed with this?

Because I am afraid that at any minute, that person -- the lie down and give up person -- is going to resurface, and I have to push extra hard to keep her at bay. I have to remain constantly conscious of where I am and what I am doing, because I am afraid that I am going to scream "FUCK IT" at any second and go back to the way things were. It's an equal battle, because I want to actually have a healthier attitude towards eating in general, and that means NOT being such a fucking "health" Nazi that I DON'T sometimes let myself skip a day of exercise (or two) or that I DON'T sometimes let myself eat a (reasonable) portion of ice cream, because for fuck's sake, indulgence in moderation is fine, it keeps us sane -- except when it drives us crazy. But I try to ride out the anxiety and the gult and hope that I can condition myself to accept that fact that this is okay, it's okay to not always be on guard, and that I am not going to become this unhealthy, sedentary person again just because I allow myself the luxuries that everyone else is allowed to have.

I think I'm less worried about actually gaining weight than I am worried that I'm going to fall back into bad habits, because my entire life has been a series of attempting things and (eventually) giving up, because they were to difficult, because I was not rewarded with immediate gratification, because "what the fuck is the point, anyway," because giving up was easier than trying and failing, etc. I want to know I can do something and stick with it, and despite proving to basically everyone else who isn't me that I obviously can do this -- and despite knowing, intellectually, that I have achieved this goal -- I instead instinctively wait for the other shoe to drop, because that has been my life, my entire life.

I'm reading a book about phobias -- Wish I Could be There: Notes from a Phobic Life -- and I just started it, only about 45 pages in. the author spends a lot of time talking about phobias being, often times, exaggerated versions of legitimate fears -- people who are hydrophobic, for instance, might be afraid of drowning, which is technically a possibility, but some hydrophobes won't even go near water, even water in which the possibility of drowning is practically non-existent (and frankly, it's a fair long-shot in general -- I can't swim, and can still go in a pool (if I lose balance, or feel "out of control" (weirdly enough, this includes being on a "floatie" or a raft!) I freak. the fuck. OUT) and have yet to drown... um, obviously). So, the "seed" of the fear might be legitimate, but the response to the fear is completely out of control.

But, like, what about fears that seem to come kind of out of nowhere? Like, that don't even HAVE a logical fear embedded somewhere in the exaggerated response? Because I can tell you two fears I have, one of which I will have a full on, phobic attack if confronted with, one of which I won't, but I will still freak out, and the thought of which makes me queasy and hugely uncomfortable.

The first one -- moths and butterflies. I'm PETRIFIED of moths and butterflies. I have a full on flailing, screaming, running for cover attack, heart palpitations galore if one gets near me. I loathe insects of all kinds, and have similar reactions to spiders (but, you know, so do a million other people), but not to flies, which is weird. I think something about the erratic ways butterflies and moths fly contribute to the freaking-me-the-fuck-out factor. I'm never quite sure which way they're going because they fly like they're stoned out of their fucking minds. I can't stand it. (My one consolation is apparently Karen Gillan is afraid f them too. That makes me feel a little better?)

The other not-quite-a-phobia-but-freaks-me-out people -- including, to a lesser extent, myself -- touching my belly button. Horrifies me. My husband had to touch inside my belly button for ~reasons~ a few months ago, and I was shaking and nearly in tears. It's awful.

There are other things that freak me out on a full-out phobic level, though the only one that comes to mind right now is heights -- and other things that just bother me on a level a notch or two down from phobia, like throwing up, getting injections, and eyeballs (watching people touch them, like putting in contacts, etc. makes me literally weak kneed and sick to my stomach).

Like, what ~legitimate fear~ exists as the root of any of that stuff??

Random other things that don't really warrant separate entries, so I'll just stick them here:

  • The Boston Babydolls' Wrathskellar has a one-day sale today for opening weekend tickets. If you've never seen the Babydolls and you're in the Boston area, here is my official endorsement (yeah, that's right. I approve. And my opinion carries a fuck-ton of merit). They've been performing Wrathskellar for a few years now and I've yet to go, so I'm glad they're offering the discount tix. Andy and I will be there on October 6th. (my burlesque instructor is a principal performer as well, so I'm quite excited to go, she's ridiculously cute).

  • Despite my injury, I registered for the Running Dead 5k this evening, before it filled up. Zombie reg. was already filled, which is what finally got my ass in gear. September 29th, 6:30 pm @ Gallows Hill Park in Salem, MA.

  • I'm going to check when "last call" for registration is, just so I don't use up any single month's discretionary budget on future endeavors (I'd like to have some cash on hand each month for spur-of-the-moment things), but so long as I can submit my registration in a reasonable amount of time, I'll be taking a four week vocal workshop at NECCO in November/December.

  • On Season Five of Supernatural, and someone posted a great thing to Tumblr the other day: "One does not like Supernatural. One simply hates themselves enough to allow their happiness to be permanently destroyed by Supernatural." OH GOD, IT'S ALL TRUE. (Also, I fell for the boys hard and fast, but HOLY FUCK, Misha Collins is a sexy beast).

  • Going to Dave & Buster's tomorrow with Andy, Piper and Josiah. Betting money that Josiah is going to stake out the Star Trek machine, cash in his tickets ever round, buy a fuck-ton of candy, and go on a massive sugar high. If there's something there he really, really wants, he may forego the sugar high for a bigger prize, but the rest of my prediction still stands. I will personally be staking out the Mega Stacker, bitches.

  • Avengers special features have been uploaded to Tumblr. Holy shit, is Steve's deleted scene depressing as hell. Oh, God. Also, Cobie Smulders during the gag reel ("COUUUULSOOOOOOOON! NOOOOOOO!") cracked me the fuck up.

  • I've been crocheting a cool forest green vine scarf which has been turning out super well, but which has been put on hiatus for a few days because I've been wearing fake nails (cause I'm a classy gal) and don't have the dexterity to crochet with them on.

  • Ordered 12 buttons -- slogan buttons, you know the kind -- with the money I earned on Zazzle from my fandom merch., and they are a pleasing mix of political, personal, and fannish -- and also completely cover my purse. I think I'm going to buy a messenger bag purse so the buttons can live comfortable on the shoulder strap and I can have one SANE bag to carry around to less "understanding" places.

  • I've started calling River "Honey Badger," because she doesn't give a fuck. Every time she gallops across the house, I yell, "HONEY BADGER DON'T CARE."

  • HOLY CRAP, that kid's movie, Paranorman, has an OPENLY GAY character, who is, apparently NOT a stereotype. That's....freaking AWESOME.

That's all for tonight, folks. Ja ne.
afterallthistime: (i am human)
So the theme of this week has essentially been, "things I was intending to do (and what I chose to do instead)." At the top of that list, perennially, is exercise, but as I was on my period (YOU ALL NEED TO KNOW THISSSS) and felt like utter shit, instead of exercise, I figured a suitable substitute would be eating like a fucking pig and hanging out with my girlfriends (which, actually, was time well spent and an endeavor I had, in fact, planned on undertaking, so -- props to me on that, I guess).

Had the girls over on Tuesday to watch movies and have dinner (a super casual, comfort food kind of dinner -- turkey burgers, fries, pasta salad, and booze) and to talk, because while I hate to be a stereotype, I have too admit -- get us together, and the fucking floodgates unleash. I hashed out with them a lot of the issues I've been meaning to discuss in here but CAN'T, either because I feel like I'm being super redundant ("seriously, who wants to hear me whine about X, Y, or Z any more?") or because I can't find the right words ("if I say that, no matter how many qualifiers or explanations I tag it with, I will sound like a massive fucking douche"), and those are things that aren't really an issue with my friends, because whatever I say, however douchey it might sound coming out, my friends hear the underlying intention, not just the words being spoken. I don't want to make it sound like I think you guys just aren't ~as inuitive~ as my friends or anything, but it's the difference between knowing me for a few months via sporadic text posts, or knowing my through every aspect and major change in my life for the last ten years. These people KNOW me. And I know that's sort of a double edged swrd, saying that, in that, you guys won't ever "know me" unless I TELL YOU these things, so I'm going to make it a point to actually try to write about the not always so pleasant or kind things that go throughb my head if you guys can make it a point that, when you comment (if you do, I never expect people to, not will I pressure you to - but IF you do) if you comment, you keep in mind that my intentions are never to hurt, judge, or persecute, and sometimes I will have emotional, knee-jerk reactions that I know are unfair or unkind (towards myself or other people), and that my expressing them does not mean I take them to be true, but that I am either venting, or trying to make sense of where these feelings come from in the first place.

...that was a tangent. Allow me to redirect.

Yesterday Andy, Mel and I went to Newburyport to window shop and eat delicious, delicious Thai food, and today my mum, dad, brother and I went to see Joce and Steve's new apartment. Honestly, I quite like it. I ENVY their kitchen -- oh, my God. Had you told me ten years ago I'd be the kind of woman to swoon over knick-knack shelves and amble counter space, I would have laughed in your fucking face, but man. She has the most spacious cabinets I
have ever seen in a kitchen that size, and these huge windows, and two rooms with gorgeous hardwood floors (which I have too, actually, in four of my rooms, but still), and it's a flat, so if they want to entertain, they actually have room to have all their guests ON THE SAME FLOOR (which was an issue in the duplex). What inevitably happens when I go to look at apartments with other people is I start obsessing over what I'd like to do with my own apartment, and I've currently got decoration and renovation on the brain and no budget with which to work, which isn't exactly an ideal situation by any stretch of the imagination, now, is it? Funds are going to be tight for the next couple of months, and there are about a dozen other things -- mostly conventions, let's be honest, but still -- that I really want to do, and should I ever HAVE to make the choice, I will chose the experiential over the material basically any day of the week. New candle holders and some framed prints might make me happy, but going to Anime Boston will make me happier, and I only have a finite amount of time to commit to doing that -- meanwhile, candle holders and framed prints aren't fucking going anywhere, ya dig?

And frankly, conventions of that magnitude -- i.e., the only large scale social gatherings that don't trigger panic attacks in me -- don't happen for me all that often. In 2013, I will have the opportunity to participate in possibly FOUR conventions, TWO at which I plan to lead/co-lead panels, and I am NOT going to pass up that chance. It's not easy for me to connect to people -- I need structure, an "opener," and fandom attracts the same type of people as me (we share a lot of personality traits) and gives me an "easy in," something to enjoy together while getting to know people.

(Also in October, we have my sister's bachelorette party, which is basically going to be her, us (her bridal party and girl friends) drinking ourselves silly and lounging by the heated indoor/outdoor hotel pool (also, vibrators. Lots and lots of vibrators)).

Despite all the things I'm excited about in the not-too-distant future, there's still a shit-ton of stuff I want to start working on in the next few weeks, before I start work again -- because I'm hoping if I can get things rolling now, before I have other commitments again, I will be more likely to continue the routine in September?? I guess, I mean, a lot of what I want to start doing doesn't have a definitive "end" point, or are fairly long term projects -- qI think I just need to forge a habit of devoting time to said endeavors, so that I have some steam built up behind them to get me over the massive emotional hill that is starting back up at work again (especially not know what the fuck I'm going to be doing).

I want to start working on things that I can find some satisfaction in, because I'm tired of trying to find my satisfaction in work. I am going to do my job to the best of my ability and make the most of it while I'm still here, but I need to find something meaningful or personally fulfilling completely separate from work, because it is totally unfair to me (and let's face it,to the kids) if I expect all my self-worth and satisfaction to hinge on that job). If that means writing projects, crafts, crocheting,running 5ks, blogging, or attending conventions, so be it, so long as it makes me happy.

(Slacking on comments again, I will be back tomorrow ♥)

My tweets

Aug. 14th, 2012 08:38 am
afterallthistime: (Default)
  • Mon, 19:47: The more you toot your own horn and brag about being or doing X, Y, or Z, the more inclined I am to assume you're lying.
  • Mon, 19:48: If you are something, you simply are; if you do something, you simply do. Peacocking about it makes me think you're hiding something.
  • Mon, 19:49: If that's unfair, sorry (but not). Do your thing and live your life. If you are/do what you say, then we will take notice, trust us.

My tweets

Jul. 15th, 2012 08:21 am
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My tweets

Jul. 14th, 2012 08:06 am
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afterallthistime: (what's my perversion?)
A total TL;DR about Wincest )

TL;DR: I ship incestuous pairings; no secret. But how I ship -- these, and any pairings -- differs and depends on any number of factors. Those of you involved in fandom (those of you who ship), are there certain scenarios, details, circumstances, tropes, etc. that either make or break a fic for you? Are all your pairings all about the porn, or do certain pairings have certain “rules” for what you will and will not allow in fic?

* “ cloying pet names”: I have to admit, despite saying this, I have a deep, deep soft spot for any time Dean calls Sam “Sammy,” or (especially) “baby boy.” I can’t abide any other pet names, though. Sorry.

My tweets

Jul. 12th, 2012 08:06 am
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afterallthistime: (Default)
After my workout today (I'm trying a new workout program for my cardio, 20 mins. of cardio at my regualr pace, and then also following a routine from Fitness Magazine designed to take you from being a "walker" to a "runner" in eight weeks), I called my brother, and we went for a walk up through the hiking trail by Holy Family. It's heavily wooded, and a little dark and damp this time of year, but it's still a cool place to hike, especially around here where there aren't a lot of great running/walking trails.

We've walked this trail a dozen times -- seriously, tons and tons of times. We must have been there just a week or so ago. About halfway through the walk this time, though, we noticed a ton of clusters of these bizarre flowers. Pale, milky white flowers, in tight clusters, thick stems, and solitary flowers. They were, for lack of a better word (or actually, since there is no better descriptor) -- eerie.

Rob wanted to take photos, but I didn't want to get super close to them (I don't know why, they were just... creepy looking), so instead, when we parted ways, he said he'd look them up.

Apparently, they are just creepy little parasitic flowers, called colloquially "ghost flowers," or "corpse flowers" -- monotropa uniflora.

It's parasitic, grows in the dark, and has absolutely no chlorophyll.

I don't know, I thought it was kind of cool.

Replies and comments tomorrow, and more about work (in a nutshell: it went well!) Right now tea, painting my nails, and watching more "Supernatural."

'Night everyone

My tweets

Jul. 9th, 2012 08:15 am
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afterallthistime: (Default)
Work tomorrow. I know I said I was excited about summer session, and I kind of am, but I loathe the first day of anything -- I create these horrible scenarios in my head and build up my incompetence in my mind until I'm basically like, "You are never going to be able to adequately handle the almost certainly inevitable clusterfuck that this experience will be!!" and the entire night before, I'm sleepless and anxious and hyperventilating and regretting every decision that ever lead me to this point in my life, and then I have to face the day, and -- usually it's fine, and even when it's not fine, it's only not fine for a while, and then things happen, dynamics shift, someone picks up the slack, and I get my head on properly and life goes on. I know this. This DOESN'T make the anticipation any easier.

So, yes, today is kind of an emotionally shitty day for me, but by tomorrow afternoon, I should be fine.

My husband celebrated his 26th birthday last night (though his birthday proper is today). It was a small gathering and we played this game called Twilight Imperium which, honestly, fuck all if I knew what the fuck was going on half the time. Jamie and I kept texting each other about ways to escape, which, as we had to assure Dan, was entirely about the game mechanics and not at all about the other players. It was a good, small group -- Andy's dad and brother for a while earlier in the day; his sister, who stuck around to stay the night; Jamie and Dan; and Dan (too many fucking Dans in our life...) Andy seemed to enjoy himself, and that's really the point of a birthday celebration, yes??

Yesterday was sort of doubly awesome because my Math Essentials professor was like, "As a last order of business" at like 1:30, and i was all, "FUCK YES, IF WE END NOW I CAN CATCH AN EARLIER TRAIN," and then proceeded to hold class until almost 2:10, at which point he was like, "You can be dismissed," and I was all **Jessica-shaped cloud of dust lingering comically in the doorway**, and fucking RAN to the Central Square T station, waited way too long for the Braintree T, got on, got completely disoriented at the Park Street station, waited FOREVER for a train to North Station that wasn't shoulder-to-shoulder packed, got to North Station at 2:33, bolted to the ticket counter where there was a fucking LINE AND A HALF, got ripped off at the automated ticket booth ($8.00, you fucking bastard son of a whore bitch), and ran to board the 2:45 train at 2:41 -- and I was fucking TRIUMPHANT, because I had a massive fucking headache, had had no caffeine, and had I NOT caught that train, the earliest train I could have then caught out of Boston was at 5:50. So, if summation, FUCK YES. I've got one more session of this class on the 21st, and that falls during the week that Piper will be staying with us, so Andy and she might just drive in to meet me when class ends and we'll go to late lunch/dinner somewhere local to class (I'm getting the sense that we might be out super, super early, and if that's the case, I'm just going to wander around Central Square for a while, because there are some really cool looking stores and cafes there that I haven't had the time to explore on my lunch breaks). I'm also becoming tempted to look up the cost of living somewhere like Central Square -- it's probably through the fucking roof, but I'm still curious. Living that much closer to Boston proper would open a whole slew of jobs up to me, and Andy's company is statewide, so he could very likely get a transfer (these are all just pipe dreams, of course, but I'm still going to look this shit up, because why not).

Because I got out of class so super early, though, and I couldn't in good conscience just NOT go home during Andy's birthday gathering when I totally had the opportunity to, I missed the Whovian cosplay picnic on the Common, which makes me kind of sad; the Boston Whovians seem to have a lot more members who actually live IN Boston, as opposed to the Sherlockians, who seem to be spread a bit more evenly throughout Massachusetts (and those who do live in Boston do so for school, so their free days and mine coincide more regularly -- for instance, the Whovians are like, 'hey, who wants to meet up next Wednesday?' and everyone goes 'YEAH SURE,' meanwhile the Sherlockians are like, 'So, three Saturdays from now, is that awesome for everyone? Everyone, yes? Yes?') The Boston Sherlockians are currently brainstorming renting out part of the Sommerville Theatre to do a private screening of some of Seasons One and/or Two of Sherlock, and if we got enough people to fill the theatre (it seats 31), we could do it for a pretty low cost for a pretty long time (marathon of Series Two, please?? NEED TO SEE... REICHENBACH... WITH PEOPLE... WHO SHARE MY FEELS....) I know we wanted to do an August meet-up, so I don't know if that will be it or not, but either way, hells yeah.

Other things to look forward to:

1. Piper is staying over for a week starting July 18th. Basically, our evenings will consist of she and I, in separate rooms, reblogging things on Tumblr, lol. I'd feel bad, but... that's what she does. And that's what I do. And so, yeah. That's what we'll do. It will be interesting to not have an empty house every night, though. And I might have folks over some of those nights, anyway.
2. Got a page of notes for my podcast. Want to talk Fifty Shades of Grey, and the vehement reaction Tumblr has had to it (including what the now public knowledge of FSoG originally being fanfic is affecting mainstream media's already skewed perception of participatory fans, and what fics, if any, deserved to be published in lieu of FSoG) -- I think it's an interesting direction to explore, especially because it's not like there isn't a precedent for published fanfic (some of it officially sanctioned, and some not), and this is the second time I can think of a Big Name Fan in a Big Name Fandom has becoming a published author (the first being, of course, Cassie Claire). Just need people with whom to hold this discussion.
3. Finished my first five pack of cards and started to set up my Etsy store. One card away from finishing my second five-pack/first themed five-pack.
4. I read the official break-down of the Burlesque classes I'm taking in August. Oh my God, you guys. The final lesson is "the Big Reveal" and "tassel twirling." I'M DYING, YOU GUYS. I GET TO WEAR FUCKING TASSELS, HOLY SHIT. I'M PISSING MYSELF.
5. I turn 30 in three weeks and that means 1. celebration, 2. tattoo (if I can psych myself up for it), 3. kitty!!

Also, holy shit, as I mentioned in my voice meme, I finally started watching Supernatural after meaning to for, like two years, and I know I said I'd give myself until halfway through the season before Wincest shipping, but -- I'm on episode eight, and I had a Wincest dream last night, and guys, there has to be something wrong with me, right? Like, I'm fine with that. I'm not out to change it, or be embarrassed or ashamed about it, but... there's still something wrong with me, right? Something gloriously, fabulously wrong.

Alright, I'm going to go. I'm feeling mega-sedentary and blergh today, so I'm going to text my brother and go for a walk. Peace, love, and pineapples, all.

My tweets

Jul. 8th, 2012 08:21 am
afterallthistime: (Default)
afterallthistime: (what's my perversion?)
I've finally taken the first steps to getting my Tumblr fandom podcast off the ground.

1.) I've set up feeds from fandom journals and specific fandom newsfeeds on Google so I know what's going on in fandom (in a slightly more organized venue than Tumblr itself).
2.) I've set up a sub-blog on my Tumblr account as a homebase for the podcast.
3.) I've designed and uploaded logos and album art for the podcast on iTunes.
4.) I registered and set-up my podbean account, so I have hosting.
5.) I own a headset mic and two standalone mics, plus I have downloaded, installed, and played with Audacity, so I have the recording capabilities (hubby and I can also both edit using Audacity).

All that's left is gathering those who are interested in participating, and actually recording a show**. This makes me feel somewhat accomplished.

Other projects I'm hoping to get off the ground this week:

1.) Making some more sets of greeting cards and crocheting a thing or two. I plan on opening an Etsy shop, hopefully by the end of the month.
2.) Starting work on my Loki helmet for next year's Anime Boston (I feel like it's going to be a LOT of trial-and-error and a LOT of starting and stopping, so I should probably get cracking now). I'm actually the LEAST concerned about the helmet, because I can do that with modeling clay and paper mache, it's the actually costume itself that is intimidating as fuck. I might have to see if I can purchase pieces of other cosplayers, or else enlist someone's help to read and piece together the pattern. I have the better part of a year (ten months, give or take) to get it done, so I'm not super worried? But I figure if nothing else, I can get the helmet done without too too much of an issue).
3.) I want to draft an outline of both the original fic I want to write and my fanfic. I don't want to WRITE THEM, I don't want to put that kind of pressure on myself when I'm already starting three other long-term projects, but I want to at least commit to getting them done sometime in the near future, and that means saying, "Yes, I'm going to write these, and here are the blueprints for when I'm ready."

I WILL have time to do these things. I WILL. I have three day weekends while I'm working this summer, longer nights (because I can sleep in the mornings, don't have to be up until 8 instead of 6, and YEAH, two hours makes a BIG difference), and I'll have all of August free to work on things. These things WILL get done, I DO have time, I DON'T have to rush them, but I have NO excuse not to at least WORK on them.

** A slight exaggeration; I also want intro/outro music (could probably play around in Garage Band or find royalty free music online; I forget specifically where to find it, but when I was in Marketing with my one-on-one, they were given resources for royalty-free/open source music to use in their radio and TV ads, and while it wasn't QUALITY TUNES, it wasn't awful music, either). I also want to set up a Skype account so that whoever is interested in participating in the podcast at any point in time will be able to do so via Skype. UPDATE: Installed Skype and am currently researching Skype/Audacity, re: how to record a podcast using Skype. Later today I will start onlining the first show, with the intention to start recording it by the 14th. I'd like a co-host, but at this point I'll go solo if I have to, because damn it, I really want to do this.
afterallthistime: (smart funny beautiful)
Summer Program

So I'm officially on vacation until July 9th. This pleases me. On the 9th, of course, I start the five-week SPED summer session, which should be "interesting." It's the same program I worked last year, with the same adult team, but instead of having four kids, we'll be having about ten, which is, if you don't know, a significant difference.

The range of abilities (and disabilities) last year was more uniform -- all of the kids had intellectual disabilities, and one of the girls had a chromosomal disorder that required some special medical attention, but they were all on even footing in most respects.

This year, all the students once again have some level of intellectual impairment, but within that we have some kids who, at age fourteen or fifteen, are functioning at the level of three year olds, and some who are functioning at the level of, say, seven or eight year olds (which is, if you don't know, a significant difference). Also thrown into the mix, we have two students with Down's Syndrome, one with Kabuki Syndrome, one with autism, and one with "a partial deletion of Chromosome 15," which is something I know NOTHING about, so... that should be fun. The classroom set-up is going to be more focused on academics this year, so we have ELA, Math, and Life Skills stations (I'll be doing ELA), but we will also still be doing cooking, APE, vocational training, games, and trips downtown (walking downtown with a group this big will be a new experience -- last year I don't think we ever took more than three kids down).

I'm looking forward to it, because it will be a novel experience and I have met most of the kids before and they are good kids, like, really good kids, but in the course of my day-to-day work atthe school, I don't generally work with kids who are so severely impacted by their disabilities -- my normal job puts me with high-functioning spectrum kids (Asperger's, HF autism, other non-verbal LDs), kids with specific learning disabilities, and kids with anxiety/depression disorders. This is all fairly new territory for me, so that's both exciting and terrifying.


Speaking of both exciting and terrifying, Andy has already bought me one of my birthday gifts -- four sessions of burlesque classes with The Boston Babydolls. I'm psyched, because this is giving me the impetus I need to reach my goal weight before August (like, 6 pounds to go, damn it! After that it'll just be icing) as well as fullfilling one of my New Year's Resolutions/Bucket List goals. If I like the experience, I'll continue the training out of pocket at some point (probably stagger the lessons os I'm not sinking my entire monthly budget into classes every month), but I'm looking forward to giving this a go.


My husband also bought me this new skintight red minidress I'd been oogling at Charlotte Russe (I'm so psyched I can actually fit into clothing from there, now), and I have officially dubbed it my Birthday Dress, so I am going to have to find someplace appropriately swanky for my birthday festivities. I have also purchased a new bikini (WAH IT IS ADORABLE) and new bras, because the others were woefully huge on me (the bad news: I've gone from a D-cup to a B-cup. This displeases me. I miss my boobs. I miss them hardcore). Also, if you want to see the red dress, here it is (also, yes, I will be wearing it for real with a bra, I was wearing a sports bra the day I tried it on, so I had to just... go without) )

I am currently S-T-A-R-V-I-N-G, so I'm going to start thinking about lunch options and then attempt to finally finish my Geometry homework or something equally productive (just because I'm on vacation doesn't mean there's not stuff to be done). Anyway. Cheers.

(PS: Yeah, I've not forgotten about my 100 Things... thing. I'll try to put up some new entries this week. ADD has been kicking my ass royally, lately.)
afterallthistime: (what's my perversion?)
Thorki, bitches. Because I like it.

Having to spend several hours in North Station waiting for a train last weekend gave me plenty of time to listen to a podfic I had downloaded from AO3. This is a link to the text version, which in turn has a link to the podfic version. FWIW, if you're into podfic, I would definitely rec this one; she has the characters inflections and speech patterns down (I especially love her Darcy!)

Shatter, by Aria (podfic by Cyranothe2nd) @ AO3. "Loki," Odin says, heavy with disappointment and regret for all he has to raise his voice, "Odinson. I cast you out." An AU retelling of the film from Loki's point of view, wherein Loki is the one banished to Midgard instead of Thor. Obvious incest/pseudo-incest warning, given the pairing. Fairly graphic, but beautifully written sex scenes. Gorgeously written overall (I was hooked from the first, simple line: Something in Loki is flawed beyond fixing. This is a truth.)

Other shit has gone down, but that will have to wait until tomorrow when I'm not half asleep and after I have at least one good cup of coffee under my belt. Peace, peeps.


afterallthistime: (Default)
we understand the lights.

May 2013

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