you can't take the sky from me.

Work tomorrow. I know I said I was excited about summer session, and I kind of am, but I loathe the first day of anything -- I create these horrible scenarios in my head and build up my incompetence in my mind until I'm basically like, "You are never going to be able to adequately handle the almost certainly inevitable clusterfuck that this experience will be!!" and the entire night before, I'm sleepless and anxious and hyperventilating and regretting every decision that ever lead me to this point in my life, and then I have to face the day, and -- usually it's fine, and even when it's not fine, it's only not fine for a while, and then things happen, dynamics shift, someone picks up the slack, and I get my head on properly and life goes on. I know this. This DOESN'T make the anticipation any easier.

So, yes, today is kind of an emotionally shitty day for me, but by tomorrow afternoon, I should be fine.

My husband celebrated his 26th birthday last night (though his birthday proper is today). It was a small gathering and we played this game called Twilight Imperium which, honestly, fuck all if I knew what the fuck was going on half the time. Jamie and I kept texting each other about ways to escape, which, as we had to assure Dan, was entirely about the game mechanics and not at all about the other players. It was a good, small group -- Andy's dad and brother for a while earlier in the day; his sister, who stuck around to stay the night; Jamie and Dan; and Dan (too many fucking Dans in our life...) Andy seemed to enjoy himself, and that's really the point of a birthday celebration, yes??

Yesterday was sort of doubly awesome because my Math Essentials professor was like, "As a last order of business" at like 1:30, and i was all, "FUCK YES, IF WE END NOW I CAN CATCH AN EARLIER TRAIN," and then proceeded to hold class until almost 2:10, at which point he was like, "You can be dismissed," and I was all **Jessica-shaped cloud of dust lingering comically in the doorway**, and fucking RAN to the Central Square T station, waited way too long for the Braintree T, got on, got completely disoriented at the Park Street station, waited FOREVER for a train to North Station that wasn't shoulder-to-shoulder packed, got to North Station at 2:33, bolted to the ticket counter where there was a fucking LINE AND A HALF, got ripped off at the automated ticket booth ($8.00, you fucking bastard son of a whore bitch), and ran to board the 2:45 train at 2:41 -- and I was fucking TRIUMPHANT, because I had a massive fucking headache, had had no caffeine, and had I NOT caught that train, the earliest train I could have then caught out of Boston was at 5:50. So, if summation, FUCK YES. I've got one more session of this class on the 21st, and that falls during the week that Piper will be staying with us, so Andy and she might just drive in to meet me when class ends and we'll go to late lunch/dinner somewhere local to class (I'm getting the sense that we might be out super, super early, and if that's the case, I'm just going to wander around Central Square for a while, because there are some really cool looking stores and cafes there that I haven't had the time to explore on my lunch breaks). I'm also becoming tempted to look up the cost of living somewhere like Central Square -- it's probably through the fucking roof, but I'm still curious. Living that much closer to Boston proper would open a whole slew of jobs up to me, and Andy's company is statewide, so he could very likely get a transfer (these are all just pipe dreams, of course, but I'm still going to look this shit up, because why not).

Because I got out of class so super early, though, and I couldn't in good conscience just NOT go home during Andy's birthday gathering when I totally had the opportunity to, I missed the Whovian cosplay picnic on the Common, which makes me kind of sad; the Boston Whovians seem to have a lot more members who actually live IN Boston, as opposed to the Sherlockians, who seem to be spread a bit more evenly throughout Massachusetts (and those who do live in Boston do so for school, so their free days and mine coincide more regularly -- for instance, the Whovians are like, 'hey, who wants to meet up next Wednesday?' and everyone goes 'YEAH SURE,' meanwhile the Sherlockians are like, 'So, three Saturdays from now, is that awesome for everyone? Everyone, yes? Yes?') The Boston Sherlockians are currently brainstorming renting out part of the Sommerville Theatre to do a private screening of some of Seasons One and/or Two of Sherlock, and if we got enough people to fill the theatre (it seats 31), we could do it for a pretty low cost for a pretty long time (marathon of Series Two, please?? NEED TO SEE... REICHENBACH... WITH PEOPLE... WHO SHARE MY FEELS....) I know we wanted to do an August meet-up, so I don't know if that will be it or not, but either way, hells yeah.

Other things to look forward to:

1. Piper is staying over for a week starting July 18th. Basically, our evenings will consist of she and I, in separate rooms, reblogging things on Tumblr, lol. I'd feel bad, but... that's what she does. And that's what I do. And so, yeah. That's what we'll do. It will be interesting to not have an empty house every night, though. And I might have folks over some of those nights, anyway.
2. Got a page of notes for my podcast. Want to talk Fifty Shades of Grey, and the vehement reaction Tumblr has had to it (including what the now public knowledge of FSoG originally being fanfic is affecting mainstream media's already skewed perception of participatory fans, and what fics, if any, deserved to be published in lieu of FSoG) -- I think it's an interesting direction to explore, especially because it's not like there isn't a precedent for published fanfic (some of it officially sanctioned, and some not), and this is the second time I can think of a Big Name Fan in a Big Name Fandom has becoming a published author (the first being, of course, Cassie Claire). Just need people with whom to hold this discussion.
3. Finished my first five pack of cards and started to set up my Etsy store. One card away from finishing my second five-pack/first themed five-pack.
4. I read the official break-down of the Burlesque classes I'm taking in August. Oh my God, you guys. The final lesson is "the Big Reveal" and "tassel twirling." I'M DYING, YOU GUYS. I GET TO WEAR FUCKING TASSELS, HOLY SHIT. I'M PISSING MYSELF.
5. I turn 30 in three weeks and that means 1. celebration, 2. tattoo (if I can psych myself up for it), 3. kitty!!

Also, holy shit, as I mentioned in my voice meme, I finally started watching Supernatural after meaning to for, like two years, and I know I said I'd give myself until halfway through the season before Wincest shipping, but -- I'm on episode eight, and I had a Wincest dream last night, and guys, there has to be something wrong with me, right? Like, I'm fine with that. I'm not out to change it, or be embarrassed or ashamed about it, but... there's still something wrong with me, right? Something gloriously, fabulously wrong.

Alright, I'm going to go. I'm feeling mega-sedentary and blergh today, so I'm going to text my brother and go for a walk. Peace, love, and pineapples, all.

Here we have a beautiful fan-made trailer for the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who, made just in time for tomorrow's series finale, the last DW episode we'll see for about a year (dear God, it's like Sherlock all over again...) It contains mostly footage and dialogue fromt he reboot, but with a fair share of classic Who clips and sound bytes as well, and it's very well done. Also, as sort of a sidenote, the Wholock stuff going around on Tumblr is crazy. I'm kind of watching from the periphary, but I have to say, some of it is epic, and it is a crossover I would kill to see.

Raison d'Q and C'est la Q, by Mercutio. Pre-slash, Picard/Q. I'm enjoying finding some nice, subtle, IC fic for this pairing. This is mostly introspection and discussion, some really well-written dialogue and good voices. G to PG rating on these two, probably.

TQ, by Mercutio. Picard/Q, NC-17. Ridiculously hot one-shot; d/s, some light bondage, orgasm denial. Hit on quite a few of my own personal fiction kinks, so I guess YMMV, but hey, that's fanfic for you in general.

I read the above stories all in one night, late, before bed, while home alone. I really haven't read much fanfic this week, I've actually been doing some reading in real books, plus class, meetings, and passing out after work everyday (plus some pretty massive headaches, which make staring at tiny print on a screen a hassle and a half...)

Oh, on a Sherlock note, with a hint of the Doctor thrown in, MARIELIKES TO DRAW @ SOCIETY 6, HOLY CRAP. This girls is amazing, and I might actually, seriously be considering saving up some money to actually buy some of these prints (not any time too soon, sadly, since there's STUFF GOING ON in the next few months that won't be going on later, but I'm pretty confident (*fingers crossed*) that the art will be around for a while). "And the World Stops Turning" is just beyond lovely, and "Constantly" makes my heart break, just a little. If anyone wants to buy me a Christmas gift this year *points to link.* Yes.

It's a bit late to be doing chores, I admit, but there's some stuff I can get done before bed, and it's that much less than I need to do in the morning. Looking forward to a relaxing weekend, hope you all can say the same. Cheers!

Feeling more than a bit like crap tonight (probably because I inadvertantly fell asleep after returning from the gym) and as a result, got basically nothing done tonight. Anyway, the rest of my week, I hope to get several things done:

1.) Gym four times this week, which is what I'm aiming for as my routine - this week will be today, tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday, since Andy is going to Littleton on Wednesday, so I may as well head to the gym that day and give myself Friday off.

2.) By Wednesday, I hope to have a Hubpage set up, as well as have decided a.) my publishing platform for the book decided on, and b.) a working title.

3.) Thursday night, Andy and I are going to go to dinner with Jamie and Dan (we hope, the invite has been extended).

4.) Saturday, we're starting our shopping for our Halloween costumes; Andy and I are going as The Doctor and Amy, and we're planning on thrifting as much of it as possible. We're aiming for the outfits from "Victory of the Daleks," since they are the ones used in most of the promo material and are probably ( the most recognized. )

5.) Tomorrow I plan to do some cleaning, since I didn't get as much done this weekend as I wanted. I need to fold the last load of laundry and do a lot of dusting and vaccing. I mean, some picking up? But mostly dusting and vaccing.

Tonight, I'm finishing my grocery list (because we are basically out of food, full stop; no meat, no veggies (oh, I'm sorry, a bag of frozen green beans!), no pasta, no yogurt (which is what I take for lunch every day), etc. Also, I need to file FAFSA as a part-time student this year, and even though the due date is in, like, June, I prefer to get it done prior to the start of classes on the 21st.

My media consumption this week has almost entirely consisted of watching (well, re-watching) all of Eddie Izzard's stand-up on Netflix. I can't imagine that anyone reading this hasn't seen Eddie Izzard, but if not, please fix that and do so as soon as you can. If you haven't seen Eddie and don't have Netflix, this playlist has some good bits of his.

Anyway. If the raging headache abates, perhaps I will have something later, but right now I'm having my ass kicked by a still adjusting circadian rhythm, apparently.

GUYS, DOCTOR WHO COMES BACK TOMORROW *DANCES* Honestly, I thought initially we were going to have to wait until October (because I swear I heard that somewhere...?), so getting it back again this week is awesome (especially since I will likely be homebound Sunday, since MA has already declared a state of emergency in anticipation of Hurricane Irene).

Also, the episode is called "Let's Kill Hitler." How can you not love that? ( New DW trailer! )

The earlier than (I) anticipated return of DW almost makes up for the ridiculous Sherlock delay.

Speaking of Sherlock:

Waking You Up, by brbsoulnomming at AO3. This was a kick in the gut, along the lines of "Alone on the Water," but there are some twists in there that make this very worth reading. If I say any more I will spoil it. Please read. It's so well done.

and stand there at the edge of my affection, by coloredink once again at AO3 (BTW, for the handful of fen who haven't visited AO3, go, go, go). This is cute and fluffy and manages to be in-character and I'm really not one for fluff, but for some reason, um, this fandom writes it so I like it? Sherlock asks John for help in writing a love letter. Very cute.

Oh, and in tangentially Sherlock-related news: HOUSE. Anyone who knows me knows I was severely disappointed in the last season, for various reasons (which I won't get into). BUT -- it looks like House is actually going to go to prison for his actions in the last episode (which, by the way, was one of three I saw last season). I've been hearing rumors, though no one will confirm or deny anything, that this may be the last season as well, so I feel compelled -- as someone who used to be deeply involved with the fandom (albeit as a passive participant) -- to watch, at least for a little while. ( House Season 8 teaser trailer! )

Seeing the trailer for Season Eight made me ridiculously nostalgic for the show as it once was, and for the old House/Wilson dynamic, so here is a classic piece of H/W fanfic, one of the first I read in the fandom and still one of my favorites: Blow the Candles Out by bethfrish. (This one is rated R, but I think it's tastefully done, and it's really only one scene). Six years later, and I still read it and feel blown away.